My journey.
Like all of us, my journey began when I decided to incarnate into this particular life time. I like to think I chose for myself quite a challenging set up with a difficult family dynamic that made sure confronting myself and life’s big questions would always be front and center of my life.
When I was 16 my mum gave me the book “Personal Power through Awareness - a guidebook for sensitive people” by Sanaya Roman. This is a book that was channeled by Sanaya Roman, from an entity called Orin. Not only did this book make me feel completely understood but for the first time I felt my hunch was right, there really was more to how this whole human existence works and the 3D was a meaningful illusion.
During these years of the late 90s I discovered many other spiritual and personal development teachers by watching Oprah’s guests. Many of them were all saying the same things. Gary Zukav was often on Oprah at the time and he spoke about the new physics, and what it meant that we and the universe are created out of energy. Then there was Eckhart Tolle, talking about the power of the present moment. And it was all wonderful, but it was an intellectual exercise for me only. I didn’t really understand how to make it practical or what it meant for me and my life.
Fast forward two decades and my life started to fall apart. It seemed like I was in self-destruct mode and I couldn’t really understand why. All I knew is that I was creating the reality I was experiencing and this was all within my power to change, but I also knew that I didn’t really know how to truly change. All my life I had been taking in all the information from Abraham as channeled by Esther Hicks, or reading the Seth books, watching The Secret or What the Bleep Do We Know. I knew it all. But I couldn’t seem to integrate it.
I kept insisting that I could change my life through my actions and choices I was making in my everyday life. Escaping to the next job, next relationship, next friendship and even the next country became my way of solving my problems. Of course I told myself I was making my life better. But as the saying goes, wherever you go, there you are. Usually, within 3 to 6 months my life would look exactly the same as it had before, just worse. And the pace was increasing.
During this time I was fortunate enough to have two wonderful therapists, and the second one I still work with. They were able to help me bridge the gap between intellectually knowing what all these teachers were saying and how to connect to it emotionally. But even then, it was more an intellectual exercise rather than a lived experience.
Don’t get me wrong, I’d successfully “used” the Law of Attraction to manifest wonderful things in my life and I knew they were my purposeful creation. I knew I could create my own reality exactly as I wanted it, and I had enough to prove to myself that I had done so more than once. But I was unable to be really consistent. And the shadow parts of myself wouldn’t sit around and wait anymore.
As the pace quickened I asked the universe for more help. Many divine people and teachers entered my life. Yes, some to teach me lessons in a more hardcore and unpleasant bootcamp style! But many others who were further along in their journey of integrating all these teachers had taught them into their everyday lived experience. A big turning point for me came when I started to listen to the transformation stories of people who had attended the Dr Joe Dispenza retreats. I knew that many of these people had figured it out. They were doing “The Work” and it was working! And I knew I could do it too.
And that’s what I want to share with you. I’m a practical person. My background is in Mathematics. I want to understand how the pieces fit together and how the solution flows. And while the solution isn’t as neat as a nicely solved math problem, it works every time and when all the pieces are put together your life is forever changed and takes on a new and wonderful direction.
It’s not magic. It’s a universal law. And as products of this universe, it works for us humans too. It’s not about being superhuman or beyond human. It’s about activating what we have left dormant. It’s like trying to write with a pencil all your life and then realizing that you were holding it upside down this whole time. Once you turn it around the rest is effortless.
And what’s most important is that this is what life is all about. As Abraham says, life is about the unfolding. It’s about never getting it right and never getting it done. It’s the experience. It’s the growth. It’s the expansion. And yes, it’s also about manifesting your desires. But it’s so much more than that.
I hope what you find here leads you to putting all the missing pieces together, turning the pencil around and finally become the true creator of your reality.
Thank you for being here!